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Weddings force people to debate the merits of different style.

Two friends recently got hitched at a Russian restaurant in Sheepshead Bay, which provided me an excellent excuse to venture beyond the mundane articles of my closet and to indulge in vodka and multiple courses of pierogi.

In the hours prior, however, there had been a flurry of communication among our friends concerning a single burning question inexpensive evening gowns : What are you going to wear? When I wondered aloud if I could get away with cowboy boots, a chorus sang, "Absolutely not."

Given that 66,000 people get married in New York each year, and 40% of those weddings take place in the summer, you may be off to a wedding shortly after reading this article. Or you may have a post- wedding wedding hangover. Either way, you likely know how I felt.

And now that same-sex unions are legal in New York, the definition of marriage has been greatly expanded. But what we wear to a wedding, gay or straight, remains remarkably narrow. As Rebecca Mead points out in her 2007 book, "One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding," weddings (on which $161 billion a year is spent in the U.S.), are "a profoundly conformist occasion, and one upon which the urge to observe some form of propriety is compellingly strong."

This impulse to conformity is one reason why the clairvoyance required to find the fault lines between dress codes can be so confounding: Conformity both is the American way and isn't. It's hard to know when to follow the crowd and when to strike out on your own, when to wear high heels and when boots will do.

Yet the conformity tide is steadily receding. Indeed, with all the emphasis we've placed on egalitarianism when it comes to the institution itself, Find celebrity and trendy Prom Dresses, Evening Dresses, Homecoming and cocktail. We have the largest and most updated dresses in our warehouse. maybe now is the time for its trappings to yield to some updating as well. If marriage can look change in the eye, then so can how we represent it sartorially.

According to the popular wedding website The Knot, there are seven dress code options: black tie, black tie suggested sundresses 2011 , formal/black tie, optional/black tie invited, bridal gowns 2011 beach formal, semi-formal, casual and shoes optional. Sounds like the difference between gray and off-white, doesn't it? The longer you think about any of these words, the less they seem to mean ("shoes optional" especially). Maybe they don't mean anything more than outdated notions of propriety.

None of this is even taking into consideration the utter insanity of trying to dictate to your guests what to wear. Weddings used to be tightly knit community affairs between families that knew each other. Now we marry whom we want - class, geographic, race and gender lines be damned. People might fly in for your Manhattan wedding from California - or Cambodia.

"Casual" means something different to your aunt from Kansas City than it does to the hipsters of Brooklyn who stand squarely in the aesthetic corner of sixth grade circa 1987. For evidence of the cattiness that can follow a wedding fashion faux pas, just visit a discussion forum where irate brides air their grievances about guests who wear "khaki pants with golf shirts and even shorts."

This woman seems unaware of a 2008 New York Times article titled "Shorts Crack the Code." Her want for conformity is hopeless.

As for myself, aside from the fact that my feet ended up blistered from the heels plus size party dresses , the Sheepshead Bay wedding was so fun I retain only vague memories of the evening . One thing I do remember is that the chicest couple there were styled as such: He wore neither coat nor tie, and she wore boots. Late in the evening evening , a friend - one of those who had scoffed at my footwear-related inquiry - leaned over the table and nodded in the direction of the woman: ivory beach wedding dresses ivory beach wedding dresses "She looks great. Next time, formal dresses cheap formal dresses cheap I'll let you wear your boots."

Boeschenstein is a writer living in Brooklyn.

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